May 2013
233 posts
porndirector:
i’m only gay to piss off old people
i wish i was cute so that i could take selfies and not want to kill myself
slydig:
tsarbucks:
slydig:
dont be mean
be median or mode
damn math fandom bloggers
moltres:
overhearing a conversation between strangers in which they’re saying something completely wrong and you really feel like correcting them
bluestiel:
sext: I tried to take my shirt off but it got stuck over my head and now I’m crying
pizza:
*uses snapchat text bar to cover double chin*
arkhams:
hey … so,.. uhh… (looks at notecards) did you uh did …you fall out of heaven because um (drops cards) shit fuck oh god fuck im so sorry youre-youre just s o.pretty i m soryr
jewassicpark:
“pass me a joint”
i rip off my arm, crying as i pass the detached extremity to my friend
Truly Madly Deeply - Put in your headphones and...
internetexplorers:
mom please laugh at my jokes
doodlesbytara:
hey bud *wraps you up in a blanket* i know today might have been hard for you *ruffles your hair* but you made it through the day *boops your nose* you’re doing such a good job *kisses your forehead* and i am so proud of you
freecie1:
jamilalikemanila:
HOLY FUCK
THE ENTIRE GAME HAS CHANGED
YOU SEE THESE FUCKERS RIGHT HERE
THE STORE BOUGHT COOKIES THAT NO OTHER COOKIE EVER TASTES LIKE?? AND PROBABLY ARE MADE WITH SECRET GOD-LIKE ADDICTIVE INGREDIENTS??
YOU CAN MAKE THESE FUCKERS AT HOME
THEY’RE CALLED LOFTHOUSE COOKIES AND GOOGLE ‘EM AND FEEL JOY
and i think to myself
what a wonderful world
